Tizer Soft Drinks

Tizer
4 Mollins Road

Westfield

Cumbernauld

G68 9HD

Scotland

22 August 2007

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to you as I am a great fan of your Tizer product and would like to express my thanks to you for making such an outstanding product day in day out. I also have a few mean questions about the beverage that has refreshed me on countless occasions.

What does the word “Tizer”? My friends tell me it is the name of the drug that is used in the Tizer drink (surely not!). How do you get Tizer to be so red, as oppose to say, Pepsi, which isn’t red at all? If a certain batch of Tizer is not completely red does it fail a quality standards test? If so, can I buy this poorer quality Tizer? And lastly, what happened to the Tizer man?

I look forward to hearing from you, and hopefully setting up a business relationship in the near future.

Yours faithfully




Robert Walker

NO REPLY!

Spider-Man

Mr Spider-Man
Marvel Entertainment International Ltd.

7 Portland Place

3rd Floor

LondonW1B 1PP

England

Dear Mr Spider-Man

How are you? I hope you are well!! I’m very good, thank you!!! I am writing to tell you what a big fan I am of yours and how cool you are. I love to watch the programmes in the cinema about you. Do you ever get nervous when jumping off such a big house?

How is MaryJane? I heard that you guys had a bit of a tiff recently. I do hope you can patch things up, after all it’s not your fault, it was all because of that naughty venom! Also, how is your Aunt? You should visit her more often so she doesn’t get lonely!

Would you come round to our house one day? My Mum says you’re not real, but if you came over for dinner and jumped around a bit in the garden I'm sure she would change her mind!

You have great strong legs!

Yours awesomely!

Robert Walker

NO REPLY!